burning up from the inside out
by clarembees
Summary: she sees his number flash across the screen, and once again, she's at war with herself because god help her she still wants him - [established nikki/seth] post money in the bank


_a/n: i was inspired to write this by a poem that appeared on my dash via tumblr. It's by the writer trista mateer, and is called "little matchstick girl." this is dedicated to ramenreignss because this is her otp._

* * *

**~*~burning up from the inside out~*~**

_**have you ever noticed that wanting**_

_**burns you up**_

_**from the inside out?**_

_**like in one moment i am whole,**_

_**but then i hear your voice on the phone**_

_**and i swear to god**_

_**three blocks away from here**_

_**they can smell smoke**_

"_**little matchstick girl" by trista mateer, via tumblr**_

* * *

"This is bull shit!" Nikki seethed, stomping down the hallway to her hotel with Brie hot on her heels. "This is _complete_ bull shit! Who the hell does that billion dollar bitch thing she is? _Beyoncé?_ Like she runs the universe? You should've let me teach her the lesson she sorely needs and slapped that smug smirk off her ugly face! Or you could have _at least_ let me get…"

"Nicole," Brie spoke gently, grabbing Nikki's hand so she could turn her, so they were now face to face. "I wasn't going to let you lose your job, too. Stephanie would've been _all too happy_ to fire you and have us both escorted out of the building by security. You know that."

"With the way things are, she might as well just fire me. It's not like I'm getting any matches. And when I do, they're _always_ handicaps. Not that I can say anything, because _god forbid_, I should question," Nikki dropped her voice, imitating Triple H. "The Authority. Give me a fucking break." She brought her voice back to its normal tone, shaking her head. "I just… _ugh_, I want to throw shit or something! I'm so mad!"

Brie's eyes twinkled and her glossy lips curled into a smirk. "Sounds like you've been hangin' with a _certain_ lunatic fringe…"

Nikki shoved her twin, rolling her eyes, "Ugh, shut up, Brianna. You don't even know, okay? You're like MIA these days, so don't even go there. But you're not _exactly_ wrong. If I don't hang with Roman backstage, who's turned into my guard dog basically, I'm rolling solo. It's like I've got the bird flu or something, I swear. And as for Ambrose, he's there because he's not letting Roman out of his sight. It's kinda cute, actually. How protective he is. In a weird, psycho if you look twice at him, I'll eat your face Ambrose way."

"I'm sorry." Brie murmured, worrying the flesh of her lip between her teeth as she looked at Nikki through hooded lashes.

"Don't be sorry. You did what you _had_ to do. You stuck up for your man." Nikki slung her arm around her twin's shoulder. "I get that. I just…" She sighed heavily, raking her fingers through her hair. "I wish I still had a man to stick up for instead of this…" Her chocolate eyes welled with tears. "He's like a stranger now, Brie, and I'm walking around on egg shells every time I see him backstage and stuff. I don't know what to say, and it's, like, I can't breathe."

Brie swallowed thickly as she reached out and brushed a tear that fell down Nikki's cheek. She _honestly_ wanted to find that two-toned bitch Seth Rollins and beat his face in. He reduced her sister to _this_, and all because he couldn't be a man and tell his teammates he wanted out. No, instead he turned out to be a backstabber and a snake, blindsiding them with the most devastating betrayal the company had seen in a long time.

He joined the _very people_ who were responsible for taking her job away from her and injuring her husband.

Now _she_ wanted to throw shit.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"I made sure to put my big girl panties on this morning. Go be with your hubby."

"Are you sure? It's not like Daniel _can't_ be without me for one night, we're not joined at the hip, no matter what you say."

"Really, Brie, it's fine. I swear. And, _seriously_, don't go back to your room and call Mom or JJ and tell them to check up on me."

"I wasn't going to do that." Brie looked sheepish while Nikki just smirked, pulling her into a hug. "You _so_ were, but that's why I love you. You _always_ have my back."

Brie gave Nikki one last long look, silently reminding her that if she wanted her to stay with her for tonight that she would, but Nikki didn't say anything. She just gave her a loud smacking kiss on the forehead and continued walking down the hallway to her room.

* * *

Just as Nikki was toeing off her Manolo's, her phone buzzed. "Oh my God, Brianna," She groaned, thinking for sure it was her twin, as she reached for the device. "You can't even give me _two fucking seconds_ before you're on my ass, like, I'm gonna slit my wrists? Drama queen, much? Ugh."

Instead of Brie's number flashing across the screen it was Seth's. It was a reminder that she had told herself, a million times, since _that_ night she was going to delete his number from her phone. Except she couldn't bring herself do it. Something was holding her back… Oh, yeah, the fact that she _still_ loved that backstabbing snake.

Her hand was shaking as she stared at the familiar number. Her eyes were beginning to water again, as she figured he was calling because he'd won his match at Money In The Bank. Or maybe he was calling, her heart lifted at the thought, because he missed her as badly as she missed him.

Her stomach twisted itself into impressive knots, as she debated swiping her thumb over the green connect button. Her pulse raced as she thought about all of their previous phone calls and texts, most of them ending with her breathless and her skin on fire as his warm tone washed over her, telling her about all of the things he'd do once they changed out of their gear.

Or how he'd text her with a request of putting on a _particular_ red dress he liked so much, but that was _even better_ on the floor.

Heat flooded the pit of her stomach and she blamed the fog of seduction that was settling over her brain for hitting the connect button.

"I thought you weren't going to pick up." Relief was evident in his voice, and as if he was right in front of her, she could see that excitable puppy look on his face, his big dark eyes shining bright and those perfect lips split into a heart-stopping grin.

"I decided to take pity on you, to put you out of your misery." She was lying through her teeth. She answered because she _had_ to hear his voice.

_"Nicole…"_ Always with her full name, spoken lowly and falling off his lips like a benediction, like a prayer he wanted to be answered and she could feel her thighs clench underneath her. He just _didn't_ know how to play fair, that fucking bastard. Ugh.

"What do you want, Seth?" Her tone was meant to be fierce, but it was exasperated.

"I miss you." There was nothing but truth in those three words and her heart crumbled like a building on a shaky foundation. "I expected, and I don't know why, you to be waiting in my locker room after the match. That you'd be there in some gorgeous dress with those ridiculously expensive shoes you love so much or maybe you'd surprise me and be only wearing the knee socks that go with your gear. But you weren't, and I know I don't have anyone to blame but myself, but it doesn't change the fact that I miss you, and not having you there hurt more than falling off any ladder ever could."

Next time she saw him, she was going to kill him, and not even Roman was going to be able to hold her back. Tears blurred her vision, and she struggled not to outright sob. How could he fucking do _this_ to her? How could he call her and tell her this? That he missed her and he wanted her waiting for him in his locker room?

Where did he get off doing that? He broke her heart, but _god_, he was the only one who could put it back together, wasn't he?

"You don't _get_ to miss me." She murmured, not sounding as strong as she wanted.

"I know." He sighed heavily and she could imagine him raking his fingers through his two-toned hair, arm flexing perfectly, and _fuck_ she did not need _that_ mental image when she was supposed to hate his guts.

"I hope that briefcase keeps you warm, Mr. Money In The Bank."

There was a time when she would have spoken the title in a teasing tone as she slipped her slender hand down his pants, cupping him in the warmth of her palm, and then pulling back just as his hips bucked before backing away and swaying her hips just so, enticing him to follow.

He would've grumbled about her being a tease and with a smile she would've tugged at his cheek and told him he loved it.

But that wasn't their life anymore. There wasn't any teasing, any steamy make outs in the locker room, undressing each other in arena supply closets. Or tearing each other's clothes off in the car before Roman and Dean would show up. Or holding hands and waking up a tangle of arms and limbs.

A tear fell down her cheek and she swallowed hard saying, because she couldn't hold it in any longer, "God help me, Seth Rollins, I still want you. I still need you. And damn it," She cursed angrily. "I still love you."

Before he could say anything, she hung up. She didn't want to hear him say he loved her too, because if she did, she'd rush to him, but going to him wasn't an option. He joined forces with the very people who were destroying her family who trashed her sister's dream of being a wrestler and who cruelly injured her brother-in-law and mocked him.

And now he, Seth Rollins, the man she loved was one of them, and that meant letting him go.

If only it was that easy. If only she could snap her fingers and forget the longing in her heart, the fire that still burned in her veins at the sight of him.


End file.
